The accusation is harsh — and clearly warranted.
Detour Detroit newsletter charges the Dietz & Watson deli products company with a “crime against coneys” for our city’s fanciful entry in a promotional tie-in to tonight’s All-Star Game at National Park in Washington, D.C.
The Philadelphia purveyor of pepperoni and prosciutto posts:
There’s nothing more American than baseball. Except maybe hot dogs. So . . . for every team in the league, we’ve created a hot dog recipe that’s inspired by the team’s home town.
There’s a crab dog in Baltimore, a taco hot dog for San Diego and even a double hot dog for the Twin Cities. To every team, a dog.
OK, but why are we served a “Detroit Beef City” woeful weiner that sounds absolutely . . . well, here’s what the local authorities at Detour say in their indictment:
Their compendium of hot dog “recipes” — inspired by 30 Major League Baseball teams and meant to “highlight each region’s local flavors/unique food scenes” — seems like a cute marketing gimmick. Except when you get to the “Detroit Beef City” dog.
Take a beef frank (. . . not canon, but alright), set it on a rustic focaccia roll (. . . huh?), dress with pepperoni (. . . ok, this is kind of–) and a slice of mozzarella (. . . beyond the pale and–), top it off with a garnish of crispy garlic and chopped basil garnish (WTF!?!)
“Watch the game with this delicious Beef City dog,” D&W suggests with its instructions. Uh, thanks but there’s no reason and no way.
— Alan Stamm