Relationships Are Hard. This Detroit Apartment Ad? Easy. –  Deadline Detroit

Fill it with your bitter, broken dreams.

(Craigslist photo)

Craigslist have helped kill newspapers, but paying by the word never got us anything as good as this apartment ad for Midtown/Woodbridge lodging on West Canfield Street:

This is a 2 bedroom apartment, the Master suite is great for waking up mid day to then grouse about life’s little inequities that keep you from progressing in life, before going to the livingroom to play video games for hours upon hours prior to doing a little rinse/repeat in the bedroom’s attached bathroom shower, and heading into any menial labor position at a local restaurant that you may have.

The second bedroom, positioned in the rear of the apartment is a great place to toss a year or two’s worth of Amazon boxes, complete with their bubble wrap and packaging! Imagine you have a WHOLE room just to store some of Jeff Bezos’ very own cardboard!

It goes on. The kitchen has a “stainless steel double bowl sink where your partner can wash every dish in the house for the entirety of the lease, or in the event you re-sign, 2 whole years, just in case that task is too much like what you do at work, and the emotional labours of seeing yet another dirty dish sends you into a tizzy.”

Oh my, does it ever go on. But we don’t want to spoil it. 

A thousand bucks for 650 square feet is probably pretty close to market rate for that neighborhood, but the history? Priceless. 

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